whatnot

mary jo's fabric store.

on the way to the doctor today i was going to call gwen cause she said this really cool fabric store where you get really good deals on like linen and such is in north carolina somewhere of rt 85. but i couldn't get our phone to work (right now it is in two pieces...the top is who knows where...) so i went to sleep. about 15 min from the doctor's office i woke up, sat up in my chair, looked to the left and saw this big building saying "mary jo's". i mean, how cool is that???!?! it is exit 21 before charlotte. in case you were wondering.

first of all i would like to thank all of you who prayed. the appointment went well this morning. my doctor is a really cool-funky person. she has uber short white-blonde hair (the uber was borrowed from my good friend gwen...) and really cool jewlry which i think she made herself. but she asked a whole lot of questions and took six test tubes of blood from my body and a couple other things.

she is checking for the following: lyme's desiese (which she said that is probably what it most likely is.); lupus (it runs in my family on my mom's side); chronic fatigue syndrome; and if none of those show up as positive she will say i have fibro mialgia and call it a day. the tests i think will come back within 2-3 weeks, so no conclusive stuff now.

she also asked about the nodules on my thyroid. she says that nodules only either grow bigger or they turn into something else...and since my last test came back as inconclusive nodules from the last CT scan, i am having another CT scan on my thyroid on friday at 9:00. so keep praying. half the battle is knowing what is going on. mom and i were talking after the appointment (which it took from 9:00-12:00. that is how long she was pokeing and prodding me. good thing i didn't poke back.) and we were saying how it is so hard when you just don't know. there is something wrong and you don't know what it is. and you have seen every general practitioner that you could have possibly seen and they say "your blood work looks great!" and you want to throw the blood work right in their faces.

i guess what it all boils down to is trusting that God will take care of me. there was a message not too long ago on, is God big enough to take care of me? well duh! of course he is. it is not a matter if he is big enough, it is a matter of do i have enought FAITH to say he is big enough to take care of me.

again thanks for your prayers.

meeting jbo.

i mean, i have met him before but it was kinda from a distance. i never really knew him.

he was able to come to a party i had on friday of bible confrence. what a blessing to see him. he was smiling and friendly even tho he was in pain. it makes my little physical ailments seem like a drop in the preverbial bucket.

i would say that jbo is really cool. not that he needs my stamp of approval or anything. =)

prayer is requested.

i am taking emergency cuts to see a specialist in north carolina this tuesday. he is an immune system person and looks for desieses that don't show up in the blood work. i am a leeeeeeeeeeettle nervous.

taking a break

until a doctor's appointment is made, i am afriad i will have to not make any entries. i think it is tendonitis in my left hand.

today has been hard. my hand and arm keep going numb but when i remove the brace i got, thinking it is too tight, the numbness stays and the pain comes back.

so untill further notice....

psalm 42

1 as the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, o God.

2 my soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can i go and meet with God?

3 my tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "where is your God?"

4 these things i remember as i pour out my soul: how i used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.

5 why are you downcast, o my soul? why so disturbed within me? put your hope in God, for i will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

9 i say to God my Rock, "why have you forgotten me? why must i go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?"

10 my bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, sayikng to me all day long, "where is your God?"

11 why are you downcast, o my soul? why so disturbed within me? put your hope in God, for i will yet praise him, my savior and my God.

indiana?

What Classic Movie Are You?.

one of my favorite things...

sound: locusts on a muggy August day, and of course, a diesel engine

sight: looking out over a soybean field or a field gone wild at dusk and seeing the fireflies calling to one another.

thing: reading.

an excerpt from the neverending story by michael gnde translated from german by ralph manheim.

Human passions have mysterious ways, in children as well as grownups. Those affected by them can't explain them, and those who haven't known them have no understanding of them at all. Some people risk their lives to conquer a mountain peak. No one, not even they themselves, can really explain why. Others ruin themselves trying to win the heart of a certain person who wants nothing to do with them. Still others are destroyed by their devotion to the pleasures of the table. Some are so bent on winning a game of chance that they lose everything they own, and some sacrifice everything for a dream that can never come true. Some think their only hope of happiness lies in being somewhere else, and spend their whole lives traveling from place to place. And some find no rest until they have become powerful. In short, there are as many different passions as there are people.

Bastian Balthazar Bux's passion was books.

If you have never spent whole afternoons with burning ears and rumpled hair, forgetting the world around you over a book, forgetting cold and hunger--

If you have never read under the bedclothes with a flashlight, because your father or mother or some other well-meaning person has switched off the lam on the plausible ground that it was time to sleep because you had to get up so early--

If you have never wept bitter tears because a wonderful story has come to an end and you must take your leave of the characters with whom you have shared so many adventures, whom you have loved and admired, for whom you have hoped and feared, and without whose company life seems empty and meaningless--

If such things have not been part of your own experience, you probably won't understand what Bastian did next.

Staring at the title of the book, he turned hot and cold, cold and hot. Here was just what he had dreamed of, what he had longed for ever since the passion for books had taken hold of him: A story that never ended! The book of books!

He had to have this book--at any price....

In a twinkling, before h knew it, he had the book under his coat and was hugging it with both arms.

later on in the same chapter...

Bastian looked at the book.

'I wonder,' he said to himself, ' what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet and all kinds of adventures and deeds and battles. And sometimes there are storms at sea, or it takes you to strange cities and countries. All those things are somehow shut up in a book. Of course you have to read it to find out. But it's already there, that's the funny thing. I just wish I knew how it could be.'

Suddenly an almost festive mood came over him.

He settled himself, picked up the book, opened it to the first page and began to read

THE NEVERENDING STORY.

hillary up a tree.

i found this picture edited by my friend justin

what dear sweet boys they are.

it happened on a beautiful day...

today was a run-in-the-grass-barefoot day. it was so gloriously beautiful, so here on bju campus, i did just that. i had an excuse. someone threw my shoes in the grass, but nonetheless, i got to run in the grass barefoot.

but that is not the exciting part about my day.

it happened on the way to the art building. i was thinking nymph/dryad thoughts and was very close to nature when i saw a beautifully flowering tree. i thought to myself, "self, i must pick a flower and enjoy it for a while." so i did. i picked (contrary to the rule book, i am ashamed to say...) a flower. white petals with purple in the center. it was so fragrant. i was enjoying the moment so much! then i got the idea, "i should put this in my hair and look like a flowering bush myself!" so i did. blissfully i walked along stopping to watch a squirrel (which are very prolific on this campus), looked at some bushes, gazed at the sky. a total nature moment.

well what happened next really got me close to nature. i felt this sting on my ear. yup. a red stinging ant had taken up residence in MY flower and lodged a complaint with my ear. i guess you can say he didn't like being uprooted from his family that lived in the rest of the bush.

so now my ear is throbbing and is red.

moral of the story, don't pick flowers on bju campus. they plant red, stinging ants to punish you if you do.