Had it ever occurred to me to ask the Lord to give me faith? No. Sadly not.
This weekend was the 2005 College Winter Retreat at the Bonclarken Resort thing. There were about 30 college age people there. I rode up with a friend and we started talking about our testimonies. She said that at one point she was reading David Brainerd's diary and realized that she had never asked for faith before.
So many times I struggle with having faith, and it never crossed my mind that I am not going to be able to make myself have faith. I just would hope for the best and doubt that the Lord would come through. I didn't really think about asking for faith until my devotions on Saturday morning. I was reading in Romans 6 when that good old ton of bricks hit me in the face again. It says "We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin."
I knew that I am crucified with Christ. That has been pounded into my head. But this weekend it really hit my heart hard. My body of sin was nullified. In Christ I am no longer responsible to my sin, or have to obey it. "Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him." It was like the Lord finally opened my heart. I had had head knowledge of all these things before, but this weekend he softened my heart to understanding. It was then that I realized how important it was that I ask God for faith to believe these things. That is what this is all about! I can't have enough faith to believe that I am dead to my sin. It will take so much more faith to believe that I can defeat my sin rather than God nullifying it forever.
Is it crazy that I have gone 22 years without having this heart knowledge? All I can say is:
I will extol you, my God and King,
and bless your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless you
and praise your name forever and ever.
Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised,
and his greatness is unsearchable.
Thank you Lord for your goodness and mercy to me! My heart is overflowing with praise and thanksgiving. My mouth praises you! I want to shout to everyone that Your are a God of love and that You love me! Lord, give me faith.
"No condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus!" Almost too wonderful to be believed. Thanks for the post.
Posted by: jon at January 12, 2005 12:20 AMPlease note: Comments will not appear immediately. Your comment will appear upon approval by the blog's editor. We had to implement this to decrease the amount of spam that our site receives. Please forgive the inconvenience. We are looking into other, friendlier options.