"It's 1:45 am. Do you know where your bearings are?"

So here I am. A description of my current state could include the following items without a sacrifice of integrity:

*Cooped up in my office.

*Thirsty but too lazy to go to the water fountain.

*Tired.

*Beset by the nagging one gets after having planned to get caught up on projects but having fallen flat on his face in unproductivity. That feeling tells me I had better get some homework done fast. That feeling can be likened to a small dachsund who is yapping at your bed at 6 in the morning to let you know that he very urgently needs to go outside. You desire to punt him toward the upper 90 of the doorframe of your bedroom, and perhaps shout "Score" as if you had just secured a winning goal in a soccer game. But you know that if you do not heed his urgent yips you will greatly regret it in the near future.

*Desirous of the cookies back in my apartment but too slothful to walk all the back to my apartment.

*Convinced that if someone were to ask me what is the essence of life, for a reward of $50,000, and I answered "repetition," I would win all or at least a lot of that money.

*Certain that if I were to win a large sum of cash by answering metaphysical questions quickly and succinctly, I would use that money to buy a treadmill. Then when people started deep ontological arguments, I would nod toward the treadmill and wink knowingly.

*Fond of the following items, among other things: Birkenstock sandals, Converse All-Stars, Starbucks coffee, Express Men's Clothing, Mini Coopers, Levi's™ Low-Slung™ Boot-Cut™ Jeans™. Alas, I am revealed to be the sniveling toady of the big corporations.

*Thirstier than I was a few items ago.

*Positive that some but not all of the following attributes, revealed in the preceding paragraphs, will be remedied soon: cabin fever, fatigue, laziness, cynicism, sniveling toadyhood, thirstiness.