I just read a great blog entry. And now I am just so full of joy! Yes, that's me using exclamation points!!
The joy that Christ brings to the believer is so wonderful. It really is unspeakable. How can one describe it? Sometimes I feel like I will burst. Does that sound silly? I love God. And I fail him so often, I know I must grieve him so. But he forgives! He rescues us from ourselves. He knows our frame. He gives grace in our infirmity. He gives us strength. He helps our unbelief.
Who is a pardoning God like Thee? Or who has grace so rich and free?
I was having a very difficult time this week and last. I was struggling spiritually and physically; I was so tired. This morning was particularly bad. I decided to work on my language, and stumbled upon this line I had written. Licalna, Lisano voal eïrànhal everas tede eïrànhala. It means, O son, He has loved you with everlasting love. I couldn't help but remember that God is love. And He is our Source of strength and comfort. I wrote this simple poem this morning as a reminder. It is more of a poem in my language than English though.
Entano tede atieïrànne. «Me tede abaeïrànne.» Licalna, Lisano voal eïrànhal everas tede eïrànhala. Eïrànrènti tede Entano! «Meo dià Tede ýbaeïrànno!»
God loved you. "I loved you." O child, He has loved you with everlasting love. God Himself loves you! "Therefore, I will love Him!"
Today has been the weirdest day. A day that makes me glad I know God, and a day that makes me wish I knew Him better.
I sit here thinking through Ephesians 2. My leg hurts. It is a burning, searing pain that can't be completely ignored. My printer is humming. I have Mercy Me playing quietly in the background.
I am thinking about being God's workmanship, his Ποίημα, (the word from which we get "poem").
This work he is doing in my life: I know it won't stop. He begun the good work. He's going to finish it (Philippians 1:6). I am so thankful for that. Forgive me for my little Greek rants. I am new to studying it, and I find it fascinating.
Here's a tidbit. In the verse, His is first. It's like he is saying, "His workmanship we are." God's. I am God's work. I was thinking wow, I have work to do, but God's work is me. He sits in the highest heaven and works on me through his Word and the Spirit.
And the work he has for me to do...he prepared it for me. I didn't have to find stuff to do on my own. The sovereign Lord of the universe prepared good works for me to put my faith into practice.
I miss my friends from Greenville (and from Michigan) very much. But I love having our blog community at Bensfriends because I can go and read and see what is going on in their lives and know that they are well and that God is good. But to my shame, sometimes am envious. I think, “Why can’t I be there where all of these good, godly friends are?” And from there it is easy for my wicked heart to say, God is holding out on me. I should have friends here and fireplaces and brownies too.
But God gently reminds me that He is good.
For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. O LORD of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!(Psalms 84:10-12 ESV)
There is no light but God's Light.
There is no sound but His Word.
There are tender mercies for the weary:
Echoes of mercy on waves of grace.
I have so much opportunity...and I waste it so often. I don't want to be like that.
It just occurred to me...well, I knew it...but it sunk in...Simon, Chris, Ben, and Gabe are now married. Wow. Four guys that somehow are in most of my pictures from college.
We had good times. I know I did. They welcomed me to the "table," as it were. I miss them. I've only seen Chris once or twice in the past few years. Gabe, I've see around, but didn't get a chance to talk to him. I've not talked with Simon much since I moved back to Virginia, sadly. Fortunately, Ben and I have been able to stay in touch. For that I am very glad.
I praise God for each of these men. Even if we don't all talk as much as we once did. They all helped me to grow in Christ one way or another. And they are all distinctly their own person with different points of view.
With my mouth I will give thanks abundantly to the LORD; And in the midst of many I will praise Him.
Psalms 109:30 NASB
O Lord! I pray. Help me to love You more, and help me to love me less.
Panic waves crash over me; Combers frantic as far as I can see Are trying to, hoping to crush me. For I am not, cannot be free Until I stop striving and see that He Has all power and is life’s Key. Once again, I’ve forgotten my ABC’s. I can’t, I must not trust my ability. I’ll fail, always fail abysmally. I must focus on Him actually; Gaze on Him and only on Him admiringly. He will change my life mightily. So be still and trust in Him exultingly!
I used to have an imagination.
I think I may have put that in my closet.
Yes, it's probably in there. With that mouse
I liberated from that genetics lab that was making
them all old and wrinkly. A mouse is not supposed
to live longer than 4 years.
I used to be funny too. What's up with that? How did
I lose my sense of humor? Maybe all these pills I take
deactivated my humor cortex.
I'm glad that even with thoughts like these that
I am satisfied in Jesus Christ. That I can praise Him
for what He is making me, not what I think I should be
or how many points I score for being the life of the
party. His joy is all I need. His friendship is all I want.
His direction is all I desire. Seek first His kingdom...
And all these things will be added to you.
I saw my cat go into the bathroom this afternoon, and as a well-trained human, I went in after him to turn on the bathtub faucet for him to get a drink. As I waited for him to finish, yes, I waited...I saw a solitary ant walking across the floor. One ant on a sea of white tile. It occurred to me again how much bigger God is than I am. Far more so than I am bigger than an ant, but you can see how it would make me think of it.
The ant was in my power. And I could see everything around it. Why are we so afraid to let God lead us? We have such a small picture of what really is. And our God, the "One Who inhabits eternity" (Isaiah 57:15) sees everything.
There was one more thing that made me pause. As I was looking down at that ant, I couldn't imagine being one. Why would I want to? I am so much better than an ant.
I realize this analogy is crass in comparison to what the Lord of Glory did for us. But it makes me think. How much love did He have for us? He became a man...and died to ransom sinners (Matthew 20:28).
A rainy day is one where you don't run outside to play because you have forgotten how to be a child. So instead, you curl up by a window with your tea and book to imagine you are someone else, in some other place, outside of time.
I went to church with my Mother and Aunt and her husband on Wednesday night in Eden, NC, and had such a good time with God's people.
The Pastor talked about sharing Jesus with other people. Our witnessing. Now I'm not saying we can't go out and preach the Gospel. That is what we are called to do. But one of the simplest ways we can "preach" is to share Jesus and what He has done for us.
We are His witnesses. We have seen Him. Not in the flesh, but through His Word, certainly. He is the Word.
We each shared something about our salvation or what God had done for us in our lives in small groups before we were dismissed. It was amazing. I wish I knew more about people like this in MY church. I think I am going to suggest it.
I can't think of very many salvation testimonies of people in my church. That is kind of sad. We are family after all, we shouldn't be ashamed to share these things with each other. We should tell each other. I'm afraid we don't really talk to each other anymore. Or maybe it is me that is removed from the people in my church because of my age, and because I have been away at school. If that is true it is certianly my fault and I will have to pray sincerely about that and ask forgiveness.
I am just afraid we don't know each other in the church. We have our "safe" friends that we talk to and the others are just people that we shake hands with and ask how their day has been. But do we know them? Do we intervene on behalf of them? Do we know their burdens and our we trying to help them?
I know this post is long. I know it doesn't make much sense...I am very tired and on medication. But I felt like I had to post it. I liked what David said the other day, part of blogging is saying what you need to and then being willing to be corrected. There's nothing wrong with being corrected. We should have a good spirit about correction and know that others are trying to help us grow in the knowledge of God.
So...if you have had similar thoughts...or if you need to correct something I've said (especially if I misparaphrased/butchered what you said David) please let me know what you think.
I said that I would start looking at some hymn lyrics. I am going to paraphrase/reword the lyrics to help me better understand them. And I might only look at one line at a time. It depends on how well I feel or how late it is when I think about a certain song. Finally, I know that the Bible is our source of Truth, not the hymnal. But hopefully, our hymnals and certainly our lips should be filled with Truthful lyrics that praise the Lord (hallelujah Psalm 146). That's why I wanted to do this in the first place.
Come, Thou Fount of every blessing, Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
You fountain of every blessing, come tune my heart to sing your grace;
It makes me wonder if I want God really to work in my heart to be "on key" with Him. This line suggests to me that the starting process is a sole work of God. He must do the work in the heart. He is the One who gave us a song (Psalm 40:3); and the natural result of our being filled with the Spirit is singing (Ephesians 5:18). The part we must play is presenting our members as slaves to righteousness (Romans 6:19) and not resisting the Spirit's work (1 Thessalonians 5:19; Ephesians 4:30; Acts 5:3 ff).
You know, a dictionary definition of fount can include the idea of one that initiates. So we have God, the Great Initiator of every blessing, as our Father (Luke 11:9-13; James 1:17).
I like the rain. I really do. I was thinking earlier it must be selfish to think it has to be sunny for me. The earth is the LORD'S.
But I must admit sometimes, like today, I struggle to realize that it has to rain. I want the sunshine for my personal happiness, and don't even think to myself that there is a Sovereign Lord superintending His creation by His good pleasure. But then I heard the birds singing, and remembered God sees them too.
Virginia Beach, VA; home; dinner time.
Micah: I heard the birds singing in the rain today.
Dad: They were singing in the shower.
Micah: You know I'm going to put that on my blog, don't you?
Last night my friend's mom died. I only knew her for a short time while I was in Michigan, but she made an impact on my life. I stayed at her house with Brian and the family twice while I was there waiting for my apartment to be opened on campus.
I am sad, yet very happy that she is with the Lord. I hardly know what to say. She was suffering from cancer, but the Lord delivered her into His Presence.
Of all the verses that came to my mind these have stuck throughout the day, it is a benediction.
24Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, 25to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.
~ Jude 1:24-25 (NAS)
There is a cardinal high in the maple tree*
Singing for Spring quickly to come.
Cries for sunbeams and buds to break free,
Nothing will stop his rowdy enthusiasm.
Neither rain, nor wind, nor these cloudy gray skies,
Neither solitude on his barest perch;
For his voice is all he needs to advertise,
And maybe come Spring a Lady will end his search.
* based on a true story
Incidentally, this kind of goes with the Verse of the Day...
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."
~ Genesis 2:24 (NIV)
Liquid fire fills the empty steel wire stretched stretched to its limit. There is a desert where water is plenteous but it is so dry every mouth is parched. Palms are slick with sweat so that weak and trembling fingers grasp at air and music undanced is unheard. Seeing red is common when falling from the heights, gravity pulling, pulling, velocity gathering, gathering until terminal moments find terms of endearment at reach by hands that reach for stop signs. Crying eyes are no good, for what can a little wetness do? Cause more pain? Tossing from side to side to side the ride is rough, the Author tough but gracious in this eternal pain. There is no I in Why? Only You.
Thanks to Joy's perseverance and a stern exhortation from Stephanie yesterday, I present you with a Villanelle.
Let me turn, and never again walk this way.
Often too distracted and caught in the night.
O keep me Lord and these desires help slay.
When all darkness surrounds, let me see Your day!
Bind me by Your Word. Thus keep me in the fight.
Let me turn, and never again walk this way.
When prisoned by pain with all these nerves affray,
Afraid, alone, weak, I scream with all my might:
"O keep me Lord and these desires help slay!"
When caught in problems, general dissarray,
And I am lost, then Your love shines clear and bright.
Let me turn, and never again walk this way.
When confused by the World and tossed in its sway,
Surround me with Your love, and show me Your light.
O keep me Lord and these desires help slay.
When I would rather sit--dream my life away--
You show me that only dreaming is not right.
Let me turn, and never again walk this way.
O keep me Lord and these desires help slay.
I worked on this poem for a long time. Then I let it sit for a long time. Now I am publishing it. I might yet tweak it, but I am happy to let it be seen now.
Words to comfort and
to make well that which was lost.
See the crimson thread.
(Genesis 2:7, 20, 25)
Feeble dust formed, framed
red earth named and spirit life
now naked, shameless.
(Isaiah 14:12; John 8:44; Revelation 12:10; Ezekiel 28:14)
Fallen from heaven,
(Father of lies, accuser!)
annointed cherub.
(Genesis 3:4-6)
Moments eternal--
A poison bite and death bite--
All in a moment.
(Genesis 3:17-19, 21; Hebrews 9:22)
Death the curse, promise
dirt and work with blood and sweat.
Crimson drops atone.
(Genesis 4:1)
The mother of all
from new life aquired hope,
dashed quickly by innocent blood.
(Genesis 4:8)
Breath's vapor fades now
as red hot anger subsides.
Brothers now no more.
(Genesis 4:9-10)
Blood calls from the ground!
Can you hear the crimson drops
fall by the meadow?
(Genesis 4:11-14)
Wandering man marked,
you see not the crimson thread,
free to all who ask?
(Genesis 5:29; Genesis 7:16)
Promised rest from your
weary work rest in the ark
the hands of God shut.
(Genesis 9:12-13)
"In the tent of clouds
I place my bow, this is
My lovingkindness."
(Genesis 11:4; Genesis 8-9)
Disobedient name
seekers! Mixed and confusion,
who can fight God's Gate?
(Job 1:1; Job 38:1)
Hated eschewer,
Patient man, persecuted.
Hear now the Whirlwind!
(Job 38)
"Can man answer God?
Can he know all God's council?
Answer, if you can."
(Job 42:6, 10)
Retracting, he repents.
Dust, ashes his covering.
And God gives to him.
(Genesis 18:10-12; Romans 4:11)
A covenant made
father of all who believe
(aged princess laughing).
(Genesis 22:2)
Father's laughter must
be sacrificed on the mount.
Picture things future.
(Genesis 22:8)
See here the thread of
crimson through time and space:
God will provide a lamb.
(Genesis 32:26, 28)
As the day dawned bright,
a new name revealed to him:
"God strives, rules, and heals."
(Exodus 2:10; Exodus 20; Exodus 6:1-2)
The prince of Egypt
brought stones written by God's hand
after plagues freed slaves.
(Joshua 2:18; Joshua 2:21; Joshua 6:23)
Arrogance humbled,
afflicter is afflicted
saved by scarlet thread.
And running through all
(judges, prophets, priests and kings)
shadows things future.
(Matthew 3:1; Matthew 3:2)
Preaching man, baptist,
Calling now for repentance.
The LORD is gracious.
(Matthew 9:27-30; Matthew 15:30-31; Matthew 1:23)
And by His hand did
blind men see and the lame walked,
For God is with us.
(Matthew 26:39)
And in the garden
of the oil press, He prayed God's
(not His) will be done.
(Matthew 26:48-49; Matthew 26:42)
And knowing all things
yet was met with traitor's kiss,
but He did Your will.
(John 19:28; Mark 15:33-34)
Thirst, darkness, pain:
(His Father's back now has turned.)
What is this but hell?
(Romans 6:10)
Bloodied on that tree
dying to sin once for all,
leads captive a host.
(Mark 16:6; 1 Corinthians 15:55)
But He is not here.
Death is not victorious.
Just as He has said.
(Acts 1:9-11)
Returning like His
leaving in clouds with glory
majesty, power!
(1 Thessalonians 5:2; Revelation; Psalm 2:9)
Like a theif in night;
then tribulation and peace.
Peace by iron rod.
(Revelation 21:23)
There is a thread in
eternity; there is no
sun to shine nor moon.
(Revelation 21:23; John 20:26-28)
God is the light of
heaven, the Lamb is now our
reminder by prints.
Prints that were opened
by nails and bleeding for us:
this our crimson thread.
the crisp air mixes
with satisfied tiredness.
so sweet the abeyances
of the night--my accomplice.
By His grace I have a Wonderful Counselor
Who catches and teaches me when I doubt.
Helping my poor intentions as Adviser,
When I am ready and willing to burnout.
He is a Mighty and Awesome God.
With His righteous right hand I am upheld!
By His gentle whisper I am awed;
In His sweet voice my fears are quelled.
Prince of Peace, yet He comes with the sword:
He gives perfect peace, and hardens hearts.
In His body He took every sin that Heaven abhorred.
To His Holy Ones new life and grace He imparts.
He is my Sovereign Shepherd: indeed, He knows me well.
How can He restore my soul? Every trial Him befell.
Isaiah 9:6; Isaiah 41:10; Matthew 10:34; Isaiah 26:3; Romans 9:18; 1 Peter 2:24; Titus 3:7; Psalm 23
midnight is not dark.
this is darkest: before dawn.
my soul remembers
His lovingkindess to me.
You will never fail me LORD.
wake.
clock 4:11...
what?!
wake.
clock 4:22...
eternity in
ten minutes.
Heaven's Veil
When veiled by clouds, Thy glory hid,
When moved by doubt and fear, I cry.
Thy Spirit wilt move; Thou wilt not forbid
Mine eyes to see Thy grace on high.
If dark the path to Thy gates,
If full of fire, of falls, of fright,
I pray that I may contemplate
Thy Word, O Lord, which is my Light.
Since by Thy Word I understand,
Since by Thy Blood I am made free,
Thy grace is sufficient for me to stand.
Pray let Thy Spirit illumine me.
And this same Wind by breath or gale,
Revealeth to me Thy Heaven�s Veil.
October 19, 2002
james m. bohannon
The idea for this poem came from sunset in Maryland and sunrise in Michigan on my 20-something-odd hour journey to Saginaw.
Isn't it great that even when we feel that God is veiled from us "The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God" (Romans 8:16). We have not seen God, but we have seen His Veil: His grace and love.
jmb