I wish I knew where cities were better. You'd think I'd know the United States' map a little better. So, I am going to Fort Collins for a wedding this week. I am very excited because I haven't been past Texas. I'll take pictures. I promise.
Here are some pictures from the party that I promised so long ago.
O Lord! I pray. Help me to love You more, and help me to love me less.
I think I'm addicted to BreathSavers. Really. Every time I see the roll I have to have one. It's not as if my breath is noisome all the time. I just want the candy. I enjoy the flavor.
The one redeeming thing is BreathSavers are without sugar. I did learn something from my friend Kara the dental hygienist: Mints/gum with sugar in them only make your breath worse in the long run. Sugar makes your breath foul. Say it with me now.
Okay. I'm done now. You can go play kids.
I got my casio set up on my desk. We will see how well it works out. Maybe I'll take a picture. That's probably the best way to "describe" it. To be continued...
I almost forgot someone's birthday today. How awful of me...
If you want a hint scroll down and look to the right. And if you do, you'll see that another birthday is tomorrow. So many things to keep track of.
12:1You will say in that day: “I will give thanks to you, O Lord, for though you were angry with me, your anger turned away, that you might comfort me.
2 “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”
3 With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation. 4 And you will say in that day:
“Give thanks to the Lord, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the peoples, proclaim that his name is exalted.
5 “Sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously; let this be made known in all the earth. 6 Shout, and sing for joy, O inhabitant of Zion, for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel.”
Is. 12 (ESV)
So as far as the doctors know, I am not crazy. The psychological tests today took about 2 hours. Some of the questions included:
- Have you heard voices that other people can't hear?
- Do you have uncontrollable urges to hit things or throw things?
- Do you feel like people are watching you when you are alone?
- Are you afraid of being alone?
- Are you afraid of being in public?
There were over 250 more. I am surprised I don't remember anymore of the really good ones. If I think of more I'll add them.
Anyway, all that for their tentative approval to have the trial. When will this happen? I have no idea. My next Duke appointment is June 10.
I have a Duke appointment tomorrow. But this will be with a different doctor. It is the biofeedback and evaluation process I must undergo before I can have the trial to see if spinal chord stimulation will work for me.
Of all things this evaluation makes me the most nervous.
"The initial visit involves evaluation of psychological, social, and physiological aspects of the presenting symptoms." This test takes 3 hours.
God gives grace when I am crying.
God gives grace when I am laughing.
God gives more grace.
Another Zell Miller story. The last line is, he will be "73 next year, is not seeking re-election." Too bad. I liked some of his speeches. He stood up for something.
Panic waves crash over me; Combers frantic as far as I can see Are trying to, hoping to crush me. For I am not, cannot be free Until I stop striving and see that He Has all power and is life’s Key. Once again, I’ve forgotten my ABC’s. I can’t, I must not trust my ability. I’ll fail, always fail abysmally. I must focus on Him actually; Gaze on Him and only on Him admiringly. He will change my life mightily. So be still and trust in Him exultingly!
Me vuEntanras de ishen ýbasesanno. naEntanal o Ancendà vufelis dheènda sil! Felis dheènda sil atirene. ýBasesanno vuEntanras di ishen.
Entan meà pèhn licaSan di iresha dàdhenti. Me vuEntanras de ishen ýbasesanno. ýBasesanno vuEntanras di ishen. Dàdhenti pèhn licaSan di iresha meà.
naEntanal o Ancendà vufelis dheènda sil! Entan meà pèhn licaSan di iresha dàdhenti. Dàdhenti pèhn licaSan di iresha meà. Felis dheènda sil atirene.
What did you think I wouldn't translate it for you? I will. Let me explain my title too. My little conlang fun goes back a while.
Well, every language needs some form of poetry. I've been playing around with this for a while. The trouble is I have a limited vocabulary. Plus, as much as I would like to be able to think in Zharhiàn, I cannot...yet. (I know, I'm weird.) So here's my simple child's poem in the best English translation I can think of. Oh, poetically speaking, there is a form I am following. It has little to do with rhyme, but there is a little rhythm, but specifically there is a parallelism that I want to continue working on. In fact, it might not be seen so well in English. But you might be able to see it if you look at the Zharhiàn text.
I will sing of God's grace. O God, the Creator of all things! All things He made. I will sing of God's grace.
God gives to me peace by His own Son. I will sing of God's grace. I will sing of God's grace. He gives peace by His own Son to me.
O God, the Creator of all things! God gives to me peace by His own Son. He gives peace by His own Son to me. All things He made.
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.
“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.” Judas (not Iscariot) said to him, “Lord, how is it that you will manifest yourself to us, and not to the world?” Jesus answered him, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. Whoever does not love me does not keep my words. And the word that you hear is not mine but the Father's who sent me.
~ John 14:15-24 (ESV)
I've done some coloring joy-style for emphasis. I will be writing more about this soon.
The Flea and the Fly
A flea and a fly got caught in a flue. Said the fly, "Let us flee." Said the flea, "Let us fly." So together they flew through a flaw in the flue.
So Love and Obedience are One. The Son obeyed and loved.
The Father sent the Son, The Son glorifies the Father, And the Spirit testifies of the Son.
The trip back to Virginia Beach was tiring...even while I was asleep...I had very real dreams. Some people dream in color or black and white, sometimes I dream in pain. We were a bit cramped carrying some of Christa's belongings from Greenville. But we made it.
I got to meet a blogger that has been linked to from Ben's Friends before at Trinity Baptist Church in Gaffney, South Carolina. It's always nice to meet fellow bloggers. Even if it is awkward walking up to them and saying, "I read your blog...I feel like I sort of know you...but don't. Nice to meet you." Or something like that.
I'm at Hillary's House. This is awesome!
I have to go now though! It was a cool party. They are nice people. I'll put pictures up later.
I managed to sleep all 7 hours from Virginia Beach to Greenville. Sleeping in a car is definately my superpower. This doesn't bode well for my driving though, black dogs and all.
I did get to see the play. And since I was so well rested, I enjoyed it immensely. I went to the Green Room afterwards to see Ginger and Geoff and Mrs. Jacobson. It was delightful to see them again. It has been a while. Mrs. Jacobson was my high school English teacher. I miss her.
Thanks to Mrs. St. John, blessings on her head, I got to go to the Commencement Concert which also was delightful. (They played Saint-Saéns' Maestoso" section from his Symphony No. 3. Dr. Dunbar played the organ. It was so beautiful. It needed to be a little louder.)
Also, I have never heard BJ choirs sound so good. Of course I've been away, so maybe I have forgotten. But they were singing Rutter, and I could understand their Latin. That is a feat. The guys were very clear, and the ladies hit their high notes with grace. It was remarkable.
Finally, Dr. Gus premiered a song about Job 38:7 (when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy). It was beautiful. It ended spectacularly with the tune Nicea. You could hear the brass singing "Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty!" It was a blessing.
There was an amusing story in there before the concert I left out. Christa and I went to Olive Garden with grandmothers, parents, aunt and brother. But we had barely sat down before we had to leave for the concert. The wait was long, and we didn't make it there early enough. But, I did get my fried calamari, bread and salad. You have to take a stand for some things in life.
Well, I'll be leaving in the morning to go to Greenville. I'll be there just in time to see the play (go Ginger Jacob/Ericson!). I'm not sure if I'll make it to the Commencement Concert. We will see.
So Christa is getting her Masters. Wow. I'm so proud.
As my family and I were finishing our repassssst. I ssssspied a ssssslithering ssssnake.
Okay, I'll ssssstop. It's annoying me too.
No, I was looking out our sliding glass doors at our old shed, and I noticed a big snake on the roof. Here are some pictures of our guest. It was entering a hole made by a pesky squirrel.
I used to have an imagination.
I think I may have put that in my closet.
Yes, it's probably in there. With that mouse
I liberated from that genetics lab that was making
them all old and wrinkly. A mouse is not supposed
to live longer than 4 years.
I used to be funny too. What's up with that? How did
I lose my sense of humor? Maybe all these pills I take
deactivated my humor cortex.
I'm glad that even with thoughts like these that
I am satisfied in Jesus Christ. That I can praise Him
for what He is making me, not what I think I should be
or how many points I score for being the life of the
party. His joy is all I need. His friendship is all I want.
His direction is all I desire. Seek first His kingdom...
And all these things will be added to you.
My uncle had a massive stroke today. He is in the hospital in intensive care. Please pray for God's healing and for his family. His name is Tony.
I want to know You as You want to be known.
I suppose I should say that all went well on Thursday. I'm sorry for not saying so earlier.
My doctor and I did not discuss the spinal chord stimulator as I had believed we would. But I have scheduled an appointment that is necessary before the trial of the device. Taking the first step probably means I will have the trial in the near future. Probably after the wedding of some friends of mine.
Also, the trial is what determines whether I will need the IPG (internal battery) or RF (external battery) device. This is nice because it effectively takes the decision out of my hands. A good place to be. My hands are a little shaky.
I leave you with words from three men. The lyrics have been playing over and over on my speakers and in my head. (They are used in the song Made Me Free, music by David Danner.)
~ Isaac Watts
Alas! and did my Savior bleed
And did my Sovereign die?
Would He devote that sacred head
For sinners such as I?
Was it for crimes that I had done
He groaned upon the tree?
Amazing pity! grace unknown!
And love beyond degree!
~ Ralph E. Hudson
At the cross, at the cross where I first saw the light,
And the burden of my heart rolled away,
It was there by faith I received my sight,
And now I am happy all the day!
~ Isaac Watts
But drops of grief can ne’er repay
The debt of love I owe:
Here, Lord, I give my self away
’Tis all that I can do.
~ Philip P. Bliss
Sing, oh sing, of my Redeemer,
With His [precious] blood, He purchased me.
On the cross, He sealed my pardon,
Paid the debt, and made me free.
[Paid the debt and made me free.
Made me free, Made me Free!]