From a Friend

I stumbled across this most wonderfully crafted tale today while checking the comments on a friend's blog. I thought I would shamelessly lift it and share it here with due credit going to www.nickyzzi.com and its patrons.

The Prodigal Buzz

A certain college had about 3,000 students. And one of the undergrads went to the Records Office and said, Registrar, give me the portion of credits that falleth to me. And he divided unto him his transferable credits. And not many days after, this student gathered everything from his barrel, and took his journey to Easley, and there wasted his credits at a two-year technical college. And when he had spent an entire semester there, there arose a mighty famine in his apartment; and he began to be in want. And he went and joined himself to a restaurant off of I-85; and they made him dance and sell really bad seafood. And he would fain have filled his belly with the leftover fries that the teenage girls did eat; and no man gave him a good tip. And when he came to himself, he said, How many of my former classmates have creamed eggs enought to eat, and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and got to the Admissions Office, and will say unto the G.A. admissions counselor, "I left BJU and didn't appreciate it, and am no more worthy to be in a choir: put me on spiritual probation." And he arose and came to the Administration Building. But when he was yet a great way off, the Registrar saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the student said unto him, "Registrar, I left BJU and didn't appreciate it, and am no more worthy to be in a choir." But the Registrar said unto the Records Office ladies, "Bring forth the best choir robe, and put it on him; and put a class ring on his hand, and taps on his shoes. And bring forth the Sunday chicken; let us eat, and be merry: For this my student was a townie and is in the dorms again; he was a former student and now is a prospective graduate." And they began to be merry. Now his former hall leader needed to go to the business office: and as he came and drew nigh to the Administration Building, he heard music and dancing. And he called one of the info desk workers, and asked what these things meant. And he said unto him, "One of thy guys is come; and the Registrar hath opened the box of Sunday chicken, because he hath received him with still the majority of his credits non-accredited. And he was angry and would not go into the Business Office to cash the anonymous check from his P.O. Box that would pay for his entire school year's tuition: therefore the Dean of Men saw him sitting on one of the velvet couches in the lobby, and came out, and entreated him. And he answering said to him, "Lo, these many semester do I serve thee, neither walked I on the grass at any time: and yet thou never gavest me a box of Sunday chicken, that I might make merry with my friend. But as sson as this thy student was come, which hath devoured his time at a college without gates and barbed wire, thou hast opened for him a box of Sunday chicken." And he said unto him, "BOJO, thou art ever with me, and you'll probably spend the rest of your life here. It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy guy was a townie and is in the dorms again; he was a former student and now is a prospective graduate."

[a note from the main character]

"I've got to admit that The Prodigal Buzz is one of my favorites. I'm definitely going to include it in my book. I think that I like it so much because it's awesome to take a parable from the Bible and apply it personally. It is intended to be funny, but at the same time, I believe that it's the best way to explain why I love BJU so much today. My freshman year, I hated being at BJU. My sophomore year, I tolerated the fact that I was there. My junior year, I accepted the fact that it was God's will for me to be there. My senior year, I started to enjoy being at BJU. But it was wasn't until my 9th semester that I really embraced BJU. Hopefully, all you guys will gladly pay $14.99 to read all about it when I finally get it published."

-Buzz